Part I

look at yourself

One of the easiest things to do is to look at others and see where they fall short, and one of the most difficult things is to look at ourselves honestly.  Anyone that says that they don’t judge is full of shit. We all pass judgment; the degree to which we do it and our motives for doing so say more about us than the words we carefully and strategically choose to describe ourselves. 

Fear and the desire to control cause more problems than anything else. The person we present to the world is often who we want to be rather than who we are. If you are a “control freak,” you actually have no control because you are being controlled by the need to control. If you try to control how others view you by pretending, you have lost control because you must keep up appearances, which means that you must be ever vigilant about what you say or do or risk being exposed. Pretending has never done anything good for anyone. 

Have you ever let anyone really know you? If not, then you have never experienced true intimacy. What you have experienced is the illusion of intimacy that your fear and desire for control have dictated.   

Whatever you desire most controls you. Whatever you fear most is in your mind; the truth is, the only thing we have to fear is our minds. When influenced by insecurity and fear, our imagination is the most debilitating thing we face.  

Everyone talks about how the world needs to change but ignorantly believes that everyone else, not themselves, needs to change. If only people thought and felt the way we do, then everything would be okay, is a subconscious mantra echoing in most people’s minds.

Avoidance is directly linked to arrogance. The most important thing we can do is look at ourselves, which is a terrifying proposition for most.  

In this section, I will look at myself through an honest and often unflattering lens, and it’s not to put myself down at all. It’s to grow. Most of all, I hope it will resonate with others and inspire them to do the same. Admitting our flaws is not an admission of failure, nor does it need to be negative. If appearing to be perfect in the eyes of others is something you desperately desire, then you have set yourself up for failure.  We can lie to everyone, and we can even lie to ourselves, but a part of us will always know the truth, and that part will always stand in the way of the happiness we are trying to prove we possess. You can construct the most beautiful house, but if it is built on an unstable foundation, the cracks will inevitably appear.  

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